Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
