Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
