Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.