I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex