Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.