i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
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Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.