He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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