his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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