I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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