i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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