I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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