I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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