Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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