problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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