can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
