There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
