Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
