There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Randomize