No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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