Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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