Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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