Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
