I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
