Your tits are I can't wait for
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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