Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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