Don't you send me to vm
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
