it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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