Pappa wants mamma naked
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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