i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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