just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
