Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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