He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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