That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
