you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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