He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
