Just fell off a train. Bad.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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