HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
