So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
