Will you blow on my dice?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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