Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
