If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
