Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Randomize
