dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
