I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
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