yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize