Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
