Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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