The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
