operation have a gay friend backfired
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
