I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
