The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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