I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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