Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
