Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
pray to the hookup gods
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
