I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
