I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
