new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
