I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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