Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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