Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
