Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
