brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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