i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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