the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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