May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
