I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize