what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
