Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize