I saw his package. It spoke to me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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