he thought i was a dude.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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